Real Relationships

For Better or for Worse

What exactly does “for better or for worse” mean to most people?  And who really thinks pre-marriage what worse could really mean?  Financial challenges or loss of a job?  A child with special needs and the stresses it can bring?  LOSING a child?  How about prolonged sickness?  One in which one spouse has to care for the other and that completely consumes their entire lives.  And I’m not talking about in the later years.  I mean early into marriage when life should be enjoyed the most.  Would a situation like this prove so overwhelming that it would cause one to walk away, leaving his or her spouse to face the devastation of the illness alone and now add abandonment to their burden???  I don’t think many of us would think so badly of ourselves as to think we would walk away from someone we love in their greatest time of need.  But that’s exactly what many of us do. Our spouses may not be suffering from some horrible physical sickness but, because of our sinful nature and the levels of dysfunction in us, we all experience “dis-ease” of one type or another.  The original meaning of the word “disease” was “trouble” or “discomfort” or something that is lacking.  The close and ongoing contact of marriage uncovers all kinds of weaknesses, quirks, and shortcomings of the person we’re married to.  It can seem to be overwhelming dealing with the manifestations of those issues when they seem to just not go away or get any better.  But again, would we walk away if the “dis-ease” was something physical like cancer?

In our vows, we commit to love and to cherish in sickness and health, for better or worse. We sign our names to a marriage license and swear on the Bible in front of God, our friends and families that we will live out that commitment for the rest of our lives.  So what does it mean when we don’t?  That we really only meant it at the time and it doesn’t apply in the future?  No.  When we walk away, it basically means that we lied!  God is a God of covenant and promise.  Ecclesiastes 5 talks about vows and how seriously God takes them.  Verse 5 says it is better not to make a vow at all than to make one and not keep it.  Verse 6 makes it clear that God doesn’t stand for the “I made a mistake” card and that there are consequences to our double-mindedness!  There are plenty of examples throughout the Bible, especially in the Old Testament, of God’s covenant promises to care for His people, bring them out of bondage, provide for them, etc., if they would just be faithful and obedient to Him.  God’s blueprint and instruction are meant to ensure a secure foundation and strong framework for our lives.  We too often pick and choose what we will follow based on how convenient or inconvenient something is to our own plans.  Why do we wonder, then, when all hell breaks loose and things fall apart all around us?  We experience blessing, prosperity (NOT just regarding money!), and good things when we follow God and His Word!  Specific to marriage, the Bible says that a man finds something good and experiences God’s favor when he finds a wife.  Everything in the Word supports marriage and working out the things in ourselves that we need to work out in order to make it successful.

I realize it’s very easy to say what we will or won’t do until we’re actually in the middle of difficulty.  But we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength!  We can love, we can forgive, we can offer help to and support for our spouses even in the most trying of circumstances IF we are committed to doing so.  If your spouse’s body was being ravaged by sickness, would you not do everything in your power, seek out every specialist you knew of to try and find a treatment or cure?  Would you not lay before God asking for Him to help your spouse to overcome the condition or, better yet, to just take it away?  How about we try the same approach with his or her attitude or terrible money habits?  Take your spouse before God and continue to seek out the appropriate treatment for whatever ails him or her.  Consider the issues “pre-existing conditions” and attack them from every possible angle and with the determination to overcome them instead of them overwhelming you!!!  Re-examine your vows, think about what they meant when you said them, what they mean now, and, most of all, RECOMMIT to them, and do it for better or for worse…

4 thoughts on “For Better or for Worse”

  1. OMG this post is so TRUUUUUEE!! Anyone who is saved and married for ANY length of time needs to read this. I say married and not planning to marry, because before you get married you feel like you can conquer the world. It’s only AFTER you’ve been married that you understand the sacrifice required to make it work…..for life. Kim, these blogs are so profound and I love reading and sharing them. I just told Michael he HAD to read this. Amazing truth!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Nat. I’ve had so much swirling in my mind and, in my desire/need to speak real truth, have really tried to be sensitive to God’s timing before moving out. The more untruth and deception I see, the more I’m compelled to fight against it. I’m just letting out what’s been like fire shut up in my bones! LOL I’ll say it again and again, I so appreciate your support!


  2. Kim, I am so glad Nat shared this post, I have read it more than once, the words you speak are TRUTH! Thank you for sharing what is on your heart and what God led you to do. Marriage is WORK – no matter how long you have been married. It truly does take DETERMINATION and GOD on our side to see each and every day through. I agree with Nat, all married couples need to read this. Bless you as you continue to write and share what the Lord gives you!


    1. Thank you, Tiffany!!! It’s a bit intimidating, to say the least, but there are so many people saying so much of ANYTHING that I just want to be another voice of Biblical truth. I so appreciate you taking the time to read whathe I shared from my heart! 😊


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