Develop Confidence as Your Super Power

Some people have the uncanny ability to just make things happen. In every walk of life, we see other women accomplishing great things. I don’t know about anyone else but sometimes I watch from my current position in awe of how quickly these power women make decisions, juggle multiple responsibilities and do it all seamlessly and almost without effort. What leaps out at me from these movers and shakers is confidence. The ability to think on the fly without hesitation somehow knowing that the next step that they’ll take is the right one. It seems there are some people that just have “it.” The boss factor that sets them apart and propels them forward while others just watch and admire from afar.

The “IT” Factor

So what is that thing? In large part it’s confidence, plain and simple. Confidence defined is “a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.” It’s being aware of what you bring to the table and knowing that it’s enough to take you exactly where you’re trying to go. But when boss chick mentality is a goal and not a present reality, the natural question is where we draw such confidence. What is the source? What is the foundation on which we can build to authentically be the great woman we see in our future and not just give the impression that we are. We want to BE the part, not just play the part. Do some just innately have “it” while others only wish to? I believe that the women are able to walk fully in confidence have a strong sense of who they are. Being fully plugged into your identity, who you are at your core and what you bring to the table is an extremely empowering phenomenon. When you are solidly grounded in your strengths and abilities, you know what you have to offer the world and no one can take that away from you! The awesome thing is that confidence can be built. If you haven’t recognized your superhero abilities yet, there are specific and intentional steps that we can take to start to overcome the confidence killing, self-esteeming busting mindsets and behaviors that hold us back.

Climbing the Confidence Mountain

A good first step to building confidence is to get to the root of the issue. What is it exactly that planted the initial seeds of “less than?” So often, we have negative messages ingrained into our being from a very young age. We may have felt inadequate because the prettier girls got all the boys’ attention in high school or we struggled to get decent grades so we didn’t feel smart enough. I’ve even learned that confidence many times is an issue with extremely beautiful or wealthy people because it is difficult for them to tell who is genuinely interested in them as individuals and not because of their physical appearance or what someone else can get from them. Sometimes to overcome a self-limiting issue, we have to go way back to try and figure out the source of the problem and then confront it head on. If we identify the point of origin — a teacher whose negative words carried power, that girl growing up who may have spoken negativity over you out of jealousy — you can consider the source and cut it off right there. It’s enough at times realizing that the crap that was thrown at you due to someone else’s issues is not worth your energy or effort to receive it. The problem was always theirs, not yours! We have to learn to recognize people’s lies for what they are and replace them with words of affirmation to build ourselves up in the areas in which we’ve been made to feel less than what or who we really are. It won’t be easy and it’ll take some work but we have to empty ourselves of the negativity that we’ve accepted in our minds and heart of hearts and be refilled with thoughts of sufficiency, ability and can-do power.

Another confidence building step is increasing your knowledge. In just about any career, education is key to the ability to confidently accept new assignments, roles and challenges because it’s a source of preparation. Putting in the work to learn the ins and outs of your business or career of choice is the key to opening endless possibilities. We can’t always control the opportunities that are introduced to us but when they are, we can move forward in our abilities when we’ve prepared ourselves through education and acquiring the appropriate knowledge. We may feel nervous moving into new or greater territory and that is completely normal. Nerves or a certain degree of fear are emotion-based hills to climb but they are a totally different beast than a lack of confidence, which we can use to overcome fear knowing that we have all the tools necessary to accomplish great things. We will never feel confident, however, if are always ill-prepared.

A final suggestion to build your confidence is just take a leap. SOOO often the fear of a thing is so much greater than the actual thing itself and it is enough to render us immobile. There are times, however, when we just need to jump off the cliff knowing that the parachute of our knowledge and preparation is enough to carry us safely through the initial challenges of something new. If we start by tackling smaller attainable goals, each time we step out and discover that there is firm foundation under our feet to hold us up, our confidence grows in the possibility of the next steps! And the next and the next. Before we know it, we’re able to look back at how far we’ve progressed and we can make bigger, greater, more impactful moves armed with the confidence of the accomplishments that we’ve been able to achieve to that point. Little else increases our confidence muscles more than the tangible results of previous efforts. Learn to use them as motivation and ride the wave of momentum right into your awesome future.

There is no one all-encompassing solution of course and there are many steps one can take to build self-confidence. What’s important is to not allow negative self-perceptions win over whatever we want to accomplish as women seeking to positively impact our world. We are nurturers and activators and there are dreams in others that will die if we don’t reach our own. It is incumbent upon us to recognize the limiting factors that could pull us backward or keep us in neutral and then intentionally work with everything in us to neutralize them. March is Women’s History Month and there is a whole tribe of sisters that has gone before us, many against unimaginable odds, to accomplish feats that have literally changed the trajectory of history. We can look at those women’s stories and gain confidence from what they were able to achieve in spite of circumstances far worse than we could fathom. We have to know that, if they could do what they were able to, we most certainly can do and be great as well. Get mentors, find strength in strengthening others, align yourself with other strong women that will build you up — whatever it takes, but keep fighting. Keep fighting for your future, your business, your success, your position in the world. Read books, surround yourself with allies and other fierce women that will help to propel you forward and eventually you will find yourself standing taller on a foundation of confidence more solid than you could ever have imagined. Just don’t forget to pull someone else up along the way!