Transformed…

I LOVE the “Transformers” series.  I am completely fascinated by the special effects of the movies, how the characters are able to literally transform right in front of our eyes.  Every part of the vehicle unfolds seamlessly and effortlessly to reveal the robot-like form that the autobot is disguising.  I NEVER get tired of watching it.  And then there are the characters themselves:  Optimus Prime (chief autobot) is my DUDE!!!  There is no question that he’s in charge.  His character exudes authority and his presence and voice are almost regal the way he commands a scene. Optimus and his supporting cast of autobots ride around disguised as vehicles.  They are aliens from another planet that are on earth to protect mankind from the decepticons, also disguised as different modes of transportation, but whose purpose is to destroy mankind and take over planet earth for their own purposes.  Transformers.  It’s what the Bible calls Christians to be.  Romans 12:2 instructs “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — His good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Seems so simple.  So matter-of-fact.  Our relationship with Christ should cause us to change our way of thinking.  We’re supposed to be the different ones that, once our minds conform to God’s Will and His Word, WE influence the world and those around us so that THEY want to become like Him!  Instead, what’s going on in the Church (the Body), looks no different than anywhere else.  People, Christians included, enter into marriage with all KINDS of opinions, experiences, and preconceived notions that affect the decisions they make and the way they conduct themselves as a spouse.  The Church itself, as a body of people and an organization, is supposed to walk out the Word of God and serve as an example of how we are supposed to live our lives.  That includes our marriages!!!  The Bible says that God hates divorce.  What God hates, we should hate.  We cannot pick and choose what part of our lives we’ll allow to be subject to God because we’ve changed our minds or things aren’t working out quite like we thought they would.  Themes of forgiveness, restoration, and second chances are weaved through story after story from Genesis to Revelation.  There are instructions for how we should treat one another as brothers and sisters in Christ, which our spouses are to us if we call ourselves Christians.  How many times have we sinned, disappointed God, or done the opposite of what He’s asked us to do and yet He forgives us over and over again.  Having received God’s mercy repeatedly, can we not show mercy to our spouses?  Love covers a MULTITUDE of sins!!!  We are called to be ministers of reconciliation which means we should be leading the charge in bringing our relationships together.  There are reasons, of course, that justify removing yourself from a dangerous or unhealthy situation but, in MY OPINION, “falling out of love” or “we grew apart” doesn’t fly.  Everybody knows the saying “you get out of something what you put in it.”  We invest so much time, money, and effort on other things that aren’t half as important but “for better or for worse” goes out the window when the “better” doesn’t tip the scale in our favor.

So what do you do “after the love has gone?”  Love, in its truest sense, is more than just emotion.  As a matter of fact, emotions can be very deceiving as they are VERY unstable!  Based on what’s going on in our lives, we can feel completely positive about something at one time and then, moments later, a simple thought can turn our feelings 180 degrees the opposite direction.  I honestly believe that two Christians whose hearts are completely surrendered to God can find their way back to one another through all that life can wedge between them when the worse starts to outweigh the better.  Truth be told, we are naturally pretty selfish individuals and we gravitate to the things that make us feel good, define success for us, or whatever it is that we pursue.  Too often (I think), we allow our individual pursuits to override what’s best for our relationships. A transformed heart seeks to please GOD in everything that we do, not ourselves.  It’s just really hard for me to conceive that a heart for God is the same one that leads us on a path away from the one that we stood in front of Him and pledged our lives to, especially when HE HATES DIVORCE.  Our marriages should be the best and the strongest, the most loving and enduring.  Even in the midst of difficult times, the restoration of a marriage between two Christians can be an awesome witness to the power of God and what He can do with two lives and hearts that are turned toward Him and, as a result, can turn back to one another.  For those that have convinced themselves that the only way is the one that leads to the exit sign, Proverbs 14:12 says, “there is a way that seems right to a man but its end is destruction.”  Divorce may seem like the best option but I can only imagine the devastation and the sense of loss that it causes, especially where children are involved.  There are proven statistics about children of divorce and how their lives, even into adulthood, are negatively impacted as a result of the trauma of their parents separating.  Many of us as adults have not had the stable, two-parent home that would maybe have better prepared us for being somebody’s husband or wife and now, we perpetuate those same issues in our own children because we won’t surrender our hearts to God or allow our hearts to be tender toward our spouse and, instead, just choose to walk away.  Even if we don’t have children, the wounds left from two hearts and lives ripped apart are unimaginable.  Let’s turn things around.  The work ahead of us might be great but GREATER is He that’s in us than he that’s in the world.  It’s time for us to be light.  I’m not naive enough to believe that every marriage can or will be saved but I DO believe that there is hope for a great many who CHOOSE to allow God to transform their hearts and their minds.  Start to sow the right seeds for your marriage.  Walk out the love for your spouse that you should.  Express in actions what you might not feel right now and eventually your heart will follow.  Stop allowing your heart, which is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9), to dictate what you do as far as your marriage is concerned.  Instead, trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t depend on your own understanding (or feelings or decisions).  In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.  Be transformed and that path just might lead you right back to your spouse!